Without the perspective that the kingdom of God is within me, Jesus' parables in particular had very little significance in my daily life. When I read the parable of the "Tares Among The Wheat" for example, it appeared that I had nothing worry about. Of course, I was the "wheat" and all of the "non-Christian" people were the "tares." I didn't need to fret about what was going to happen at "the end of this world." I had accepted "Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior" and my fate was secure.
Here is the parable of the Tares Among the Wheat:
"The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?
But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn" ~ Matthew 13:24-30
As you may have already figured, my initial understanding of this parable prompted very little introspection. It even gave me confidence in maintaining the same arrogance and prejudices I had to start with. But over time, something started happening. Before I even knew I was allowed to (thank you, Luke 17:21), I started seeing Jesus' parables from the viewpoint that God's kingdom is within me. This is when Jesus' mysterious teachings on the kingdom of God began to penetrate my heart and work miracles in my life...
When the kingdom of God (in this case, the kingdom of heaven) was within me, I understood from the parable that the field in which the good seed and tares are sown, is within me too. As Jesus later reveals, "the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one" (Matthew 13:38). Where I originally thought that I was a child of the kingdom, and therefore didn't need to worry about "the end of this world," I was beginning to see quite a different picture. If there was both wheat and tares in my field, the "time of harvest" was going to have a much greater impact on me than I had originally thought. And a rather unpleasant one! According to Jesus,
"As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world. The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth" (Matt 13:40-42).
As I began to experience God's kingdom as part of my everyday life, I soon realized that "the end of this world" isn't just some far-off time in the future or the day when my physical body dies. In God's kingdom, "the end of this world" occurs any time Jesus comes and brings my unconscious sin to light...
"I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died. And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death." ~ Romans 7:9-10
As promised, when Jesus comes, He never accuses me before God (John 3:17, John 5:45, Luke 9:56). He simply shows me more of Himself...
"If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin." John 15:22
The "weeping and gnashing of teeth" is the ensuing shame and anguish I experience as I comprehend just how wretched I am standing next to my Lord, and as I lament the unimaginable agony God endures in Christ to give eternal life to someone like me...
"For this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit." ~ 1 Peter 4:6
This means that the "furnace of fire" (albeit very painful, and to be avoided wherever possible) is actually a good thing, because it is the place where the evil in my heart is confronted and destroyed.
This "furnace of fire" is what must happen in order for what Jesus says at the end of the parable to come true...
"Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear." ~ Matthew 13:43
I was hearing! I was hearing! I was hearing something anyway...I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be having these insights. My real-life experience of this parable had revealed a very different picture of Christianity than the one I had been taught. I didn't know if I could trust it. What I did know is that this internal perspective on God's kingdom had sparked a desire in me like never before to keep a close watch over my heart. At that point, that was all I knew. Another of Jesus' parables spurred even more changes...
During His Sermon on the Mount, while warning His disciples about false prophets, Jesus tells them in a parable how they can distinguish between those of the “evil one” and those who come in His name. He says,
“Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." ~Matthew 7:16-20
Even though it never sat quite right with me to begin with, since I became a "Christian," I assumed that I must be one of good trees. But if what Jesus said is true, that a good tree cannot bear evil fruit, I knew something was amiss. I could not deny what was glaringly obvious: Not all of my fruits were "good." Meanwhile, the parable of the Good Tree had no practical impact on my life at all...
In view of God's kingdom within, I soon realized that I am not a tree at all. I am a garden full of trees. In my garden, every tree that bears good fruit is rooted in Christ. Likewise, every tree that bears evil fruit is rooted in “the evil one." Those are the only two options...
Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning." 1 John 3:7-8
The implications of this parable were scandalous, and quite frankly, threatening to what I had considered my "faith." But I couldn't ignore Jesus' words. If a good tree can only bear good fruit, and an evil tree can only bear evil fruit; and we know that the source of every good fruit is God and the source of every evil fruit is Satan; then whoever bears good fruit is in Christ. Likewise, whoever bears evil fruit is (as 1 John 3:7-8 puts it) "of the devil."
Suddenly I had a lot of tough questions for myself. Namely: Do I recognize Christ's followers by their fruits, as Jesus taught me to do? Or have I unwittingly relied on my own system for determining who comes in His name?
Do I believe Jesus when He said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven?" Or do I think He was only talking about the "Christian" poor in spirit? Do I believe Jesus when He said, "Blessed are the pure in heart?" Or do I think only people who call themselves "Christian" can be pure in heart? Do I believe my Lord when He said, "Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted?" Or do I think only "Christians" who mourn are blessed?
Do I believe the Scripture in 1 John 4:7 that says, "...every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God?" Or do I think that only "Christians" are capable of loving? Do I recognize God in "the least of these" (Matthew 25:40)? Or do I regard the lives and love of "non-Christians" as somehow less than that of the people who wear His name?
Will I continue to be blind to the healing power of the eternal Christ in people who don't look, think, and act like me? Or will I allow the One True Living God to tell me who comes in His name? Will I know them by their fruits?
For a long time, I fought God on these questions. I couldn't understand how someone who doesn't call himself a "Christian" could be "saved." It was so contrary to everything I had learned from "church." After a lot of arguing with God, wrestling with Scripture, and finally letting down my guard, I found Jesus ready and willing to guide me and teach me everything my heart was aching to know. What I ended up realizing is that I had been worshiping theology more than God Himself. When I stopped worshiping theology and started channeling that energy towards God, His Word came to life and as a result, every aspect of my life was radically changed.
It was living in the reality of God's kingdom within that had prompted in me a sudden extraordinary awareness of what my heart was doing at any given moment...
Was I reacting to someone or something out of misplaced fear (idolatry)?
"Thou shalt have no other gods before me." ~Exodus 20:3
Was I praying faithlessly from a heart of unbelief?
"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." ~ Exodus 20:7
Was I constantly running from one task to another, forgetting to slow down and appreciate God's blessings?
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." ~ Exodus 20:8
Was I nursing or justifying anger towards someone? Was I condemning others in my heart?
"Thou shalt not kill." ~Exodus 20:13
Was I desiring the attention or approval of men other than my husband?
"Thou shalt not commit adultery." ~ Exodus 20:14
Was I lusting after an activity other than the situation at hand? Was I desiring things that do not belong to me? Was I envious of the lives of others?
"Thou shalt not covet..." ~ Exodus 20:17
What was undeniable is that this very personal view of God's kingdom through Jesus' parables had helped me to understand His commandments and know how to keep them. By living in God's kingdom every day, and learning to be open to God's judgment (no matter how painful), my heart was transformed. I had compassion where once, I couldn't care less. I had patience where once I had none. I was brave where once I was fearful. I was less irritable in general and more attentive to the needs of the people in my life. I could respond to my kids more confidently and patiently. I started noticing things I'd never noticed before and feeling things I didn't remember ever feeling. I started to be capable of loving where once I had not known love.
These are all the healing miracles of Christ. These miracles would not have happened at all without one very special person in my life. The person who remembered what I used to be like before I was ruined by the world. The person who watched in sorrow as I ran full speed towards my own destruction. The person who was brave enough to reach out to me and remind me who I am. This person began many miracles of healing in my heart. And it doesn't surprise me one bit that she doesn't call herself a "Christian." She doesn't have to. I know her by her fruits.
